If I Told You...

Why is it that I am so
Afraid to tell you my heart’s desire?
The times I tried,
Then endless days I cried-
The moments I suddenly wish away.

I wonder if I told you
What my soul had to say,
The secrets that yearn to be
Set free, would you leave me today?

There is much to know
That I cannot hide, the things I want to
Express-
I wonder if you knew them all
Would you leave me alone?

There are moments I think
When I look into your eyes,
As the words begin to formulate-
I know I must do it, I must speak now,
Before it’s way too late.

The day’s I sighed, the times
I lied, are all things
Your ears must hear- I wish I could
Hush these daunting screams,
I wonder if you’d care.

Because if in telling my very all,
What my heart pours and pours-
Uncovered, unseen, locked away,
Will make you leave me now-
I’ll sit here thinking if it was love at all,
And if it was, then how?

Crushing and chewing, eating me
Alive, I’ll die before they will.
An end does not exist, these words
I fathom, live and live and thrive.

I wonder if I told you it all,
Would you even care-
Could the things I’d never say,
Cause your love to simply pass away?

Writer's Block

1
thoughts twist and
intertwine, within the deepest
chambers of my mind-

succumbing my soul, words
swell inside, too
much to bear, my pen runs
and hides.

2
other days all that surfaces
around, is the pure vast air-
i sit down bored, waiting for
anything to appear.

but i find nothing to say,
professionals deemed it "writers block"-
though, my passageways are open,
it's the thoughts that
wont flock.

3
then out of the dark aura,
and idea is finally
birthed-
sadly i find it is only a miscarriage,
time to start again.


pen and pad doodling on
paper, trying to find words that
are swinging around,
but maybe today isn't the day.
no words, no life,
can be found.

Unknown To Me

blank and confused,
what's more to say? the
canvas white-
bland, & gray.

who knows the
number of the endless
stars? the distance of here to
the land of Mars?

unknown to me-
that's what you are.

like my phone that
rings without a number
to read,

the poor beggard man,
desperate in need,

the time grown short, just
can't figure it out. where
we met, near or far...

unknown to me-
is what you are

excuse me miss,
oh, that's sir?
i apologize, a true confession-
yeah, yeah, i know
not a good
first impression.

but who are you? someone
i know, perhaps a distant
friend, of long ago?

maybe at the time, im
just outta my mind-

but unknown to me-
is what you are

again, im sorry, i apologize.

Steps To My House

The steps to my house as a child
Was nothing of mere concrete and wood,
An object, a tool, in being needed
It stood.

Sometimes when it rained they were
An upward escape to be dry-
On the sunniest days, I ran downward,
And at night when I had to return,
I cried.

In my childhood these steps,
This simple passage way,
Was always viewed as a leaving,
Or a place to stay.

Time kept rolling by,
Teenage years soon came,
But somehow these blocks of concrete,
Just didn’t mean the same.

At fifteen they were stepping-stones,
The days I had disinterest in home,
Most times I sought for their ruin,
Couldn’t they live alone?

Each step upwards,
A new battle to fight,
A boyfriend, a test, new arguments
Upon every flight.
Eighteen arrived,
Why those steps were best friends,
A path to college,
An adventure to begin.

Slowly adulthood crept in,
The steps now jaded,
The simple passage way I knew,
No longer strong, but faded.

A path to comfort,
Others times distain,
All lied upon these building blocks,
Stairs, was its name.

Some Days and Nights

Some days and nights I look up to the heavens

and ask God why oh why?

I put my head down, seems like my heartfelt prayers

get nowhere when I try.

So I attempt to regain composure, and my pride swells up

like the stomachs of hungry children without food.

People walking by stare at me, shake their head in disapproval,

I ignore them for they do not see me as I do.

How easy is it to taste what you have not made and judge it?

Because only some know the pain and struggle

in finding strength when you’re weak,

Only some of us.

Only some of us.

Through The Storm

The wind swirls,
The dust rises, heat drips
Upon my brow.

Only the sporadic images
Of my mind
Uplifts my spirits.

Walking towards them,
Heart beating loud,
I silently wish
I’d rise up like a cloud-

Or to fly over sea
Like the beautiful dove,
Flying high,
By and by.

Amidst the desert,
A mirage reappears,
Is it real? I cannot
Tell. So I continue
On and on.

It taste like
Water, pure from rain,
Then it dries up,
Into a small
Piece of grain.

The passing lizard laughs,
He sees me fallen,
Abandoned,
In tears...
But forward I
Continue, forward,
On and on.

The cactus forgos water,
Stores nourishment inside,
When it is in need,
It looks only to itself to thrive.

The dust blows into my eyes,
Blinded, I cannot see,
But I continue to move forward,
Crawling hand,
Foot, & knee.

Through the storm
I travel. The mirages
Reappear, this time
No longer a dream.

I think
After it all,
I am here.

Song In My Heart

Song in my heart,
Speak to me,
Sing me your sweet melody.

The days been hard,
Evenings long,
Sing me tonight a joyous song.

So many times
When all hope was gone,
I listened to your cry, a painful mourn-

But now all is serene,
The night is still-
Hum to me softly, if you will.

Oh song from my heart,
Music within me,
Sing me a song filled with melody.

Who Am I?

Coffee stains my face,
And the rain pours from my eyes,
I call out into the country,
“Who am I?”
But the birds echo my voice as they fly on.

Like the breath of the rushing rivers
My heart pounds, then beats slowly-
I hear it and it echoes to the nation,
“Who am I?”
But the land progresses without ceasing.

So I run to the tallest hill,
Upon the highest mountain,
I cry out loudly to the moon and the stars-
To sun that shines among the heavens,
“Who am I?”
Yet nature continues persistently.

The air within my lungs,
The pounding of my heart,
The rain from my eyes
All ask “Who am I?”
But the earth continues to live-
And so I must move on.

Burned Out

Feels like my hopes
are softly fading away,

uncurling and unwinding
like a piece of loose string...

or perhaps crumbling apart
like the ancient ruins of Rome-

layers of being weathered, fighting,
and battles to overcome.

but after many times up
the mountain, just to fall in the stream,

it all burns out
like a single candle slowly,
melting away.

Nobody Ought To Be

I think God made this world so big,
So that nobody has to be alone-

A kind for everyone, everyone its kind

Cause nobody ought to be alone.

Two of everything, sometimes more,
Every species, all things alike-

A kind for everyone, everyone its kind
Cause nobody ought to be alone.

The clouds have the sky, and when they disagree
In the storm, there’s always the sun that shines-

The fish have the sea, and when its waves
Gets rough, there’s the coral to hide.

The king his queen, the bee its hive,
The birds sing to one another-

In a world so big, there’s no reason why,
Cause nobody ought to be alone.

The husband his wife, the girl a boy,
Sometimes perhaps a friend-

In a world so big, there’s no reason why,
Cause nobody ought to be alone.

The jewels the gem, the grass the trees,

Everything has its own-
In a world so big, there’s no reason why,
Cause nobody ought to be alone, alone-
Cause nobody ought to be alone.

A Writer's Freedom

I S P E A K O F F R E E D O M .

"Is the possibility of doubting, of making a mistake, or seaching and experimenting, of saying no to any authority."
-Ignazio Silone-

I could feel it deep down inside like the fire of a candle.
But then- it suddendly grew...
Oh, the laughter, the tears, the endless passion.
Sometimes, when all was silent, the secrets would appear.
There was always the secrets, the hidden things I'd never say.
But now, like a light among the vast aura of darkness, they appear.
For the first time, words of heart and deep emotions come unreveled.
And here, is where that freedom of expression is found.
-Peace, Love, && Hapiness.
-B.B.